Restoring Relationships, Pentecost 14, Sept. 10, 2017

14th Sunday of Pentecost (Year A)

Sunday, Sept. 10, 2017

Love requires that we address the inevitable conflicts that will arise among us. It is not enough to sweep them under the rug and thus allow them to fester. Unaddressed conflicts can render a community unable to function as God hopes.

– Eric Barreto

Princeton Theological Seminary, Princeton, N.J

Theme: Restoring Relationship

Reflection: Some people have hundreds of friends. But acquaintances might be a better choice of words, because having real friendships, authentic relationships, is a struggle.

I can count the people to whom I’ve opened my heart fully on one hand. I’m cautious in being vulnerable with people. So when those relationships break, so does my heart. A relationship is an investment – a treasure worth safekeeping. And a treasure worth working to restore when it is broken.

My son has been a part of numerous marriage ceremonies in the nine years since he graduated. Some of those relationships still are going strong; others have ended in divorce. He laments the way that some of his peers marry and divorce without much of an attempt to resolve their differences. Yet our families are filled with examples of long-term marriages.

We’ve had the conversation over and over – he’s watched us struggle. Why didn’t you divorce each other when things were so rocky? Legally, it would have been easy. But we didn’t because we both are committed to our marriage. We made a promise not to quit, not to give up when we have differences. It’s a promise to love despite health challenges, financial setbacks, changing priorities, questioned beliefs or anything else that divides us.

He’s still looking for the right woman to share his life – and I hope someday, his marriage also is stronger than the challenges that will threaten to divide them.

Throughout today’s lessons, the law is contrasted with love. Ezekiel is the latest in a line of prophets who keep trying to turn God’s people back to God. In these verses, God lays a heavy burden on Ezekiel to be his people’s watchman.

Paul, too, says love is the fulfilling of the law. But God gave the law because we aren’t so good at loving – God, our neighbors, or ourselves. We try to find ways to go around it. Stop it, Paul says. Lay aside the works of darkness. Live honorably.

And Jesus, eyes now set on Jerusalem, starts giving the advice his disciples will need to live without him after he is put to death. When you are hurt by someone in the community, don’t just walk away, and don’t cause more issues by telling your side to others. Go to that person and work through it. If that doesn’t do it, keep trying. And trying. I think Jesus’s comment about Gentiles or tax collectors was brilliant. “You know how most people treat Gentiles and tax collectors. That’s not us. We love them. We include them. They are part of our community.”

Healing relationships is hard work. Patience and giving up one’s pride are required. I end up seeing my faults through another’s eyes as we forgive each other, again and again. But the joy of having those kind of relationships – that’s the kingdom of heaven here on earth.

(You always are welcome to respond with your thoughts and reflections in the comments section at the bottom of this post.) 

Faith App:  Relationships aren’t easy. So lean into one another when you are hurting and speak words of restoration, showing the love of God with one another.

HYMN/SONG SUGGESTIONS

Lord of All Nations, Grant Me Grace, ELW 716

Blest Be the Tie that Binds, ELW 656

God, When Human Bond Are Broken, ELW 603

Lord, Speak to Us, that We May Speak, ELW 676

In All Our Grief, ELW 615

Draw Us in the Spirit’s Tether, ELW 470

Here Is Bread, ELW 483

Now It Is Evening, ELW 572

Broken Together, Casting Crowns

Turn Around, Matt Maher

Undo, Rush of Fools

Speak Life, TobyMac

Kindness, Chris Tomlin

LESSONS

Ezekiel 33:7-11 God appoints Ezekiel to tell the Israelites God is asking them to repent.

Psalm 119:33-40 Give me understanding, that I might observe the law with my whole heart.

Romans 13:8-14 Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law.

Matthew 18:15-20 Resolving division between members of the body of Christ.

Summary:  Let’s be honest, we all mess up. We all have been hurt and hurt others. Sin and brokenness is a cloud around us. Being a disciple means real, human, messy people making mistakes, accepting grace, and restoring relationship with each other.

OPENING LITANY based on Psalm 119:33-40

L:  If you point me in the direction you want me to go,

C:  I’ll walk down that road until my journey is through.

L:  Give me wisdom so your law becomes second-nature,

C:  And love will be the guide that is written on my heart.

L:  Walk with me until your commandments become clear,

C:  I overflow with joy when I understand your ways.

L:  Remind me to turn toward what you’ve said is right,

C:  Or my desires take over, and I focus on me, me, me.

L:  Assure this servant you’ve promised me the kingdom,

C:  Reveal it to your children as we learn to trust in you.

L:  The last thing I want to do is to fall on my face;

C:  Rescue me when I struggle, so I can live to honor you.

CONFESSION

L:  Our wounded and wounding hearts weigh upon us, Lord.

C:  Broken hearts long for restoration; how then can we live?

L:  We pull away from the words that could set each other free –

C:  Turn us from our distance, and bring us together in love.

L:  Hatred in the headlines cause us to distrust people, Lord.

C:  Love does no wrong to a neighbor; how then can we live?

L:  We won’t start a discussion that could lead to understanding –

C:  Turn us from our isolating ways, and help us reach out in love.

L:  We come to worship you but our words are so empty, Lord.

C:  Resisting our hunger to go deeper; how then can we live?

L:  We ignore the energy of your Spirit moving in this place –

C:  Turn us from our shallow words, and fill us with your love.

(Silent reflection)

L:  In our confession, we pray together,

C:  Most Merciful God … living in relationship is a challenge for us. Quarreling and jealousy create wedges that stress our fragile bonds. And we struggle to resolve our conflicts, smiling on the surface but never speaking the pain within. Lord, you know so well the damage that our fearful hearts can cause. Lead us in reconciliation with each one, speaking words of love.

P:  Here is Good News: Our Lord promises to be with us in the our conflicts, telling us that when two or three are gathered in his name, he is there. So speak words of restoration that need to be shared: I love you; I don’t like the division between us; I forgive you. Because these are the same words by which God restores relationship with us: I love you; I don’t like the division between us; I forgive you.

In the name of…

C:  Amen

PRAYER OF THE DAY

L:  We pray together, 

C:  Reconciling God … you desire that we follow you and live. But your commandments represent a way of living that exalts you by treating God’s people with dignity, and all creation with care. Guide us in your loving ways until it is no longer about rules, but about living your way of love in everything we say and do. Amen.

COMMUNION BLESSING

L:  We pray together,

C:  We give you thanks, most gracious God, for the fulfillment of the law in this bread, the promise of your presence in this cup.  Send us now to be restorers of relationship, knowing that every time we reconcile with someone, it is a confirmation of the power of love.  Amen.

SENDING

L:  Love your God with everything you’ve got,

C:  Love God’s people as you want to be loved,

L:  And give yourself some love while you’re at it.

C:  In God’s kingdom, the law is fulfilled in love!

L:  Go now, doing the hard work of relationships, to love and to serve the Lord.

C: Thanks be to God!

First Reading Ezekiel 33:7-11 (NRSV)

Setting the Scene: The God of second-chances gives the Israelites prophet after prophet to instill in them a desire to repent. Here, the prophet Ezekiel sees a vision.

⁷ So you, mortal, I have made a sentinel for the house of Israel; whenever you hear a word from my mouth, you shall give them warning from me. ⁸ If I say to the wicked, “O wicked ones, you shall surely die,” and you do not speak to warn the wicked to turn from their ways, the wicked shall die in their iniquity, but their blood I will require at your hand. ⁹ But if you warn the wicked to turn from their ways, and they do not turn from their ways, the wicked shall die in their iniquity, but you will have saved your life.

¹⁰ Now you, mortal, say to the house of Israel, Thus you have said: “Our transgressions and our sins weigh upon us, and we waste away because of them; how then can we live?” ¹¹ Say to them, As I live, says the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from their ways and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways; for why will you die, O house of Israel?

Second Reading Romans 13:8-14 (NRSV)

Setting the Scene: Paul’s purpose in writing to the churches of Rome that he did not start was to share his understanding of law and Jesus fulfilling the law.

⁸ Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. ⁹ The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet”; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” ¹⁰ Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law.

¹¹ Besides this, you know what time it is, how it is now the moment for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we became believers; ¹² the night is far gone, the day is near. Let us then lay aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light; ¹³ let us live honorably as in the day, not in reveling and drunkenness, not in debauchery and licentiousness, not in quarreling and jealousy. ¹⁴ Instead, put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

Gospel Matthew 18:15-20 (NRSV)

Setting the Scene: Facing the journey to Jerusalem, Jesus begins sharing what his disciples will need to do to remain in community after he is put to death.

¹⁵ “If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. ¹⁶ But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. ¹⁷ If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. ¹⁸ Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. ¹⁹ Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. ²⁰ For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”