Grace and Peace to you from God, who accompanies us on our journeys, and from our Lord and Savior Jesus, who is our Christ. Amen.
Had anyone told me 10 years ago that today I would be living in an apartment 30 miles west of St. Louis, internship completed, approved to be ordained as a pastor in the ELCA, I wouldn’t have been shocked. I would have burst out laughing. No way that was happening.
In 2014, we were empty nesters. I was executive director of a poverty relief non-profit organization. Mike was working in sales. Our son Michael, then 24, lived a mile up the road. We were counting the days until our home was paid off and we could do some renovations and live out our retirement there. We had become members of an ELCA church in Prescott Valley and really felt connected there.
Not that becoming a pastor never crossed my mind. An intern pastor first talked to me about it 40 years ago, as a teenager. Nope – I was set on becoming a journalist. And for 15 years of my career, that happened, 10 of those at the Verde Independent. And then, God nudged again. But then I began working in social services and thought that was the place I would work until I could retire.
And then God nudged again in spring 2016.
Sometimes I read Psalm 139 and wonder if the author somehow knew what twists my life would take:
You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.
And then, a few verses later, Where can I go from your Spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence?
Here’s the first of several questions I am asking you today: When did YOU first feel the Spirit working in your life? Because it happened to you, or you wouldn’t be here today.
By 2017, the Spirit’s pull on my heart and mind was too powerful to resist. In March, I submitted my candidacy paperwork to the Grand Canyon Synod office. Like Abraham and Sarah, God had called me to a journey. And like Abraham and Sarah, the journey was more about coming to trust God than relying on my own judgment. The obstacles were many. Over and over, I thought this, THIS is the obstacle that will derail everything. Multiple delays in my candidacy process. Then a change of where I thought I would go to seminary. And in March 2020, Covid-19 arrived. This is it.
You see, I had planned to work full-time while starting seminary online. But then in March 2020, the pandemic crashed the party. By then, Mike’s health issues had prevented him from working, and his cardiologist was blunt – “This is deadly for someone with his heart and respiratory issues. Don’t risk it.”
My workplace wasn’t giving anyone the option of working from home at that point. So, not knowing how we would do it, I became jobless and committed to isolating until the pandemic passed. Our savings dwindled. We took money from our retirement.
From Ephesians, we read, “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his power; 11 put on the whole armor of God.” Who would have thought that in 2020 and early 2021, the armor of God was an N-95 mask, gloves, and shopping at 9 p.m.? Never had two people felt more relief at driving to Phoenix in March 2021, twice, to line up in the State Farm Stadium Parking Lot for the Pfizer vaccinations. We had “prevailed against everything,” as Paul wrote. But as I went into my second year, everything began opening up. And the synod was very clear that they wanted me to do at least a year in residence at seminary. We considered every option: living apart, shuttering our home in Prescott Valley, renting it out. Eventually, we accepted the inevitable. God was calling us to leave Arizona and trust. In June 2022, with gas nearing $6.00/gallon, I moved to Chicago to do Clinical Pastoral Education, a chaplaincy in a large hospital.
Here's Question #2 for you: When in your life did you feel God calling you forward into something new, something difficult, something unknown, and What was the armor of God for you?
I no more than arrived on campus, when on two consecutive days, my two favorite professors announced they were moving on. Alone, wondering whether I had made the right call in coming to Chicago, sitting on a hardwood floor in my nearly empty apartment, I cried out to God for help.
And the reading from First Kings says, “Suddenly an angel touched Ezekiel and said to him, 'Get up and eat.' 6 He looked, and there at his head was a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. He ate and drank and lay down again. 7 The angel of the Lord came a second time, touched him, and said, 'Get up and eat, or the journey will be too much for you.' 8 He got up and ate and drank; then he went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb the mount of God."
Sustenance in summer 2022 looked like texts from friends, calls from Mike, potlucks in the LSTC quad, a bag of cookies or some cinnamon rolls from a neighbor, a walk to Promontory Point on Lake Michigan for a picnic on the Fourth of July. The ten weeks of chaplaincy was challenging. Just as it was wrapping up, I contracted Covid. But I finished and flew back to Prescott Valley to pack most of the big furniture.
Two friends drove our U-Haul from Arizona to Chicago for us! These and other friends helped prepare the house to put it on the market. And just before Thanksgiving, the house closed, and Mike joined me at the Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago. Seven months later, we packed another U-Haul and drove to Missouri, for internship.
Question 3 is this: Who have been the angels in your life who stepped in with food, with a helping hand, or just the right words to get you through the most difficult times in your life?
By the time I’d reached internship, I thought it would be smooth sailing. Unfortunately, less than two months in, I injured my left leg. Two sets of X-rays were inconclusive, and several medications provided limited relief, but the random shooting pains were debilitating. I wasn’t sure I would be able to continue. Finally, weeks later, a third set of X-rays revealed the cause – I’d been walking on a stress fracture just above my ankle for more than a month. An orthopedic boot allowed my leg to heal and my internship to continue.
There were so many tears, and so much joy on July 28, as Trinity Lutheran celebrated the successful completion of my internship. Now I’m finishing up the last of my seminary coursework online, and awaiting assignment to a Synod. Chances are it won’t be in the Grand Canyon Synod, as there aren’t many calls available right now for First Call pastors. We’re looking at several Synods in the Upper Midwest, within a few hours of where my parents live, where there are nine or ten pastoral vacancies nearly all the time. That’s the reality of the shortage of pastors in 2024. There aren’t enough leaders.
From Philippians, chapter 3: “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider that I have laid hold of it, but one thing I have laid hold of: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal, toward the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus.”
At this point, the finish line is in sight. I’m served my field work and internship and feel like I have a clear idea what becoming a pastor will be like. And the more I think about it, dear friends it’s not that much different from the life you’ve been called to live, except I will be doing it full time, equipping God’s people to serve, and pointing them to our Savior, Jesus. Like you, I will be building relationships and community. Like you, I will be visiting people in my congregation when they are ill or in the hospital. Like you, I will be praying and reading scripture and trying to understand how Christ wants me to live in a time such as this.
And so, Spirit of Joy, I have one more question for you:
Question #4: What is your call? What is it that God is asking you to do today that helps share the good news of Jesus Christ in your corner of the world?
I will keep you in my heart and in my prayers as we continue this journey. And blessings to you as you continue to think about your call and your mission going forward in Spirit of Joy’s 30th year. If it’s possible, we’ll be there to celebrate with you in April 2025.
Amen.
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